Never Cry Over James Potter
by Weirdly
Summary: Lily just doesn't know how to deal with this new James Potter who's not a horrid bully, and so now in her emotional upheaval, she ends up acting opposite the way she wants to. This isn't good: call in the friends and the chocolate. LJ.


**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. Sorry to get your hopes up.**

**A/N: So, I'm finally back in the land of the living. I haven't been writing much at all lately, and that's a shame. So I'll try to push on! (Ha)**

**Anyway, here we have a little character sketch type one-shot. No one depicts Lily as just not knowing how to deal with a nice James and everything like that (as far as I've been able to tell) so I decided to do this. Sorry about the number of OCs, but it was pretty necessary. I don't think they're Mary-Sues.**

**So, have lots and lots of fun! (!)**

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Lily Evans never cried for anything but weddings, funerals, and births. Nothing else moved her to tears since she had been about eight years old.

Maybe that was oversimplifying the whole business, but Lily never shed a tear for anything less than a major event. It just wasn't _Lily_ to do so.

And yet, here she was, sobbing on the shoulder of her bestest friend forever Gretchen, while her other best friends crowded around and made sympathetic noises.

Ellen Frank was Lily's other very bestest friend. She took one appraising glance at the situation and tsked. "Sorry, girls," she said. "For now, Lils needs some time with one girl. Then we can have chocolate."

Being relatively sensitive, the crowd regarded this as scripture and headed out. Ellen followed behind; Gretchen was perfectly capable (and more) of handling Lily. Gretchen was a Hufflepuff, and that really made all the difference.

"Okay, Lily," Gretchen crooned, smoothing some of Lily's now tear-soaked hair into a little ponytail. "What's wrong?"

The door closed, and Gretchen heard the whisper of a Silencing Charm on the door before turning back to Lily.

Lily said, "I'm just such –_ sob_ – a mess! – _sob_ – and I don't know –_ sob_ – what to do!" Gretchen rubbed little circles on her back.

"Tell me what's wrong," Gretchen replied. She squeezed a comforting arm around Lily's shoulders.

"Everything!" Lily wailed. "The N.E.W.T.s are coming, and I haven't started studying because there's so much homework, and I feel like I can't keep up, and I've had horrid allergies that I haven't had time to go to Madam Pomfrey for – " Her whole body shuddered with hoarse sobs that had barely any tears left. Gretchen stayed silent and listened. "And on top of that, there's J – _Potter_, and I just don't know what to do about it anymore!"

"Well," Gretchen began softly, "The N.E.W.T.s are about six months from now; you _shouldn't_ have started studying yet, though you wouldn't be our Lily if you hadn't worried about it – " That elicited a sob that had a fraction of a laugh, and Gretchen felt some triumph, " – your homework anxieties you have at the beginning of every year, and then you're totally unstressed when everyone else freaks out. As for your allergies, we're going to Madam Pomfrey first thing tomorrow instead of breakfast."

"It's not that easy!" Lily almost yelled, strangely trying to keep on crying and stay obstinately sad. "J – _Potter_ is still – "

"Then tell me about what the deal is with him; I haven't heard anything new from you except the same spiel about what a prat he is."

"That's the problem," Lily whispered. She stopped.

"How so?"

"He's being _nice_, and I have no idea how to act around him, Gretch – I used to be mean to him because he was always mean first but now I'm the one being mean first, and I feel really bad."

"Yes?"

"Really, he'd be a prat and then I'd yell at him and that was just the way it was, but now I actually want to be friends with him. And I can't because I'm too mean, and it's just me being an ass, but I don't know how else to behave around him. I'm so confused, really. And I think – " A tear trailed down her face. "I think I have this huge _thing_ for him, Gretch, and I don't know how to handle that because I don't know how to talk to him, and I'll just get all tongue-tied and everything. And I've never been so attracted to anyone; oh, I don't know!"

"So," Gretchen said, as if to clarify, "James has deflated his head, you've _finally_ noticed the thing you have for him, you've realized that you're acting like a second grader with a crush, you want to be friends with him, and yet the history between the two of you keeps blocking any attempt you make because you can't get past that he was a prat before he changed. Difficult."

More tears escaped from Lily's eyes, and yet more brimmed on her bottom eyelids. "You're not being sympathetic, Gretchen," she almost spat.

"Yes I am. That was just to get it straight out, dear. You have been having a difficult year, haven't you?"

"Yes," Lily replied sullenly. "I have been. But _you_ haven't. You don't have any troubles with your love-life."

"I _have_ no love-life," Gretchen said and laughed. "Remember? At least you'll get a boyfriend out of this mess."

"What?"

"Nothing. It's just that James will do _anything_ for you, Lily. Get your Gryffindor bravery up and tell him – "

Lily almost exploded. "I am _not_ telling him that I have a crush on him!" she yelled, and was about to go on but Gretchen silenced her with a _look_.

" – And tell him that you think he's showing his true colors, and that you want to be friends, but you really don't know how to deal with him other than yelling at him."

"I – okay – "

"Good," Gretchen said. She was silent for a little, watching Lily, uncertain of what to say next. She definitely didn't mean to say "that booger that's hanging out of your nose looks like a grindylow," but she definitely did. And evidently it was the right thing to say, because Lily lay back on the bed in helpless – and slightly hysterical – laughter, breaking the tension and the mood with an almost audible snap. And Lily knew that she wouldn't cry like that again for quite a while.

-

The next morning at breakfast, Ellen escorted Lily to the Hospital Wing, and dropped Gretchen off at the Hufflepuff common room so that books could be retrieved after last night's sleepover. Madam Pomfrey looked askance at Lily's red nose and demanded why she hadn't come before; Lily's answer was just 'sorry'; but she looked so pitiful that Madam Pomfrey melted.

"All these flowers around," Madam Pomfrey cooed, "such pollen – such allergies – all these poor children coming in feeling horrid, and not wanting to stay in the Hospital Wing so they don't come earlier, but of course a quick potion will fix them right up! – " She gave Lily several doses for the next few days, and warned her that the potion would not take effect for an hour or so. Lily just nodded.

"That lady scares me," Ellen whispered to Gretchen and Lily as they left the Hospital Wing behind them. "She's so – busy." Lily laughed and Gretchen snorted, so it was a good start to the day, even though N.E.W.T. Level Transfiguration was first on the schedule.

-

It was at lunch that Lily finally dredged up the courage to go talk to J – _Potter_ – _James_ – about the whole situation. Several encouraging winks and nods were shot her way from her friends – even a few from her guy friends at Ravenclaw ("how did they _know_?" Lily asked Ellen in bewilderment). Bolstered by their confidence, she tapped J – _James_ – on the shoulder and whispered to him.

"Can I talk to you for a sec?" she asked. Black, Remus, and Peter (the only ones close enough to hear what she said) looked rather startled, though Remus had an element of smugness about him, and they exchanged much the same kinds of nods and winks with James that Lily had with her friends.

"Sure," he finally replied in a slightly dumbstruck tone.

"So, P – " Lily began, but cut herself off abruptly. She'd been about to say "So, Potter, been hit on the back of the head with any boards lately?" but thought better of it at the last minute and snapped her mouth shut.

"What?" James – _Potter_ – asked, but she just shook her head, hoping her hair would hide her blush. She motioned towards the Great Hall doors.

The walk to said doors of the Great Hall was awkward. Normally, Lily ambled along, bumping into whomever she walked beside; but she was extremely conscious of that now and walked in an almost exaggeratedly straight line. James was just aware of Lily's tension beside him, and Lily beside him, and the tension inside him, and thus was strung up tighter than some rubber band stretched to its utmost.

"J – _Potter­ _– I – " Lily started talking as soon as the huge doors blocked out the sound of lunch. "You were such a prat all these years – "

James's brow darkened. So she'd just pulled him out here to rant at him again. He shook his head. "I've heard it before, L – _Evans_. You've told me that again and again and again." Lily was startled; she'd told him that she wanted to be friends?

"But – _oh_," she said, realizing that he thought this was just going to be a fight. "I wanted to tell you that I think you're not as much of one anymore, and Iwanttobefriends but I've been so horrid this year because I don'tknowhowtotalkwithyou at all."

The cloud lifted from James's face, and in its place was an expression like he'd been granted his greatest wish. In a way, he had.

Grinning, he stuck out his hand. "Hi," he said, "I'm James Potter. What's your name?"

It took a moment for the action to register, and when it did Lily raised a little eyebrow and made James's grin falter a bit. But she took his hand, and shook it; and she replied, "I'm Lily Evans. It's nice to meet you, James Potter."

"Please, just James," James said. Lily grinned too, and her whole face lit.

"Then it's Lily," she said, and they shook hands with what they considered an adult firmness.

For the rest of the day, both walked around with huge, shit-eating grins on their happy faces.

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**A/N(#2!): So, yeah, hope you enjoyed. If you did, please just say 'I liked it' in a review or something; if you didn't like it please tell me 'could have been better' or something in a review. I appreciate any kind of review, even if it's just three words, though I do enjoy constructive criticism and _reasons_ why you did/didn't like it. Whatever. Just please review. Grin!**


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